Is it nesting when you wake up at 3:30 am and start making list in your head of all the things to get done, and you're up at 4am writing out the lists, making chamomile tea, and cleaning out the fridge because tomorrow's garbage day and who knows how many of those you'll have left before baby comes?? Is it nesting do you think??
Wow, already? Wail till January, please, baby! If we wait till January we don't have to go to the hospital, and everyone knows that's MY preference. I think it would be baby's preference, too, if only he/she knew it.
Maybe I should clean the fish tank, too. What do you think? It's only 4:45am. I could still be back in bed by 5:30 and get a couple of hours of sleep before the alarm goes off at 8. What would Mister say about that?
Signing out!
g.
p.s. False alarm on the house. It's still a very nice one, just not the one I thought it was. Now's a BAD time to move.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
The Sweet Spot
I think this is the sweet spot. My sister tells me that my blog sounds depressed, so here is a "nice" post for once...
I think this is the sweet spot. I've come such a long way in this pregnancy. VBACers (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean -ers) come with a lot of baggage. We know that things go wrong in birth (you can stop telling us). We know that just wanting a straightforward birth is not enough. We're armed and ready to fight this time. We've usually read too much, analyzed the past too much, and are scared. We know that in many places we might have to fight just to have the right to "try" for a VBAC, let alone one with less medical intervention. So we go in fists up. That's where I was a couple of months ago. That's the place I'm coming from.
But you know what, I'm not fighting anymore. I'm actually starting to enjoy this pregnant thing. I lay in bed just feeling kicks and wondering what it will feel like to have this baby in my arms, wondering what life will look like in a couple of months, trying to guess if this is an arm or leg, and how could someone so small and helpless kick so hard. Reveling in it all like a first - timer. It's a far cry from worrying about uterine rupture or trying to convince everyone around me that the hospital isn't necessarily the best place for this birth. It's peaceful. And all I've ever wanted in life was to feel peaceful. That's the truth.
No, life is not all puppies and roses. I just have perspective now.
I've been up since 5:30am, my back hurts like the dickens (I'm being polite), I'm worried about getting things done before Christmas and before the baby comes (nevermind very necessary bathroom renos), I still have to decide what to do about the heplock request, the dishes aren't done, and the fish tank needs to be cleaned. Again. There, I just had to say it all to get it out of my head. Maybe now I can go back to sleep for half an hour before the alarm goes off.
And, as no small sidenote, I think my loving husband has gone through the same sort of transition. Though he wouldn't probably tell the world about it like me. ( ; > Love you, honey!)
I just know he's in a more positive frame of mind about it all. We did an exercise in our prenatal class where the instructor pretended to be a nurse and was presenting us with intervention options. I was nervous as hell. It was such an uncomfortable place to be in because we've been there. I was shifty-eyed and feeling trapped. Hubby was confident and had this great "bring it on" attitude. Man I love that guy. He is my match in every way possible. If I get through this at all it will be in large part due to him.
I'm finally feeling like we're ready to have this baby. Well, almost!
I think this is the sweet spot. I've come such a long way in this pregnancy. VBACers (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean -ers) come with a lot of baggage. We know that things go wrong in birth (you can stop telling us). We know that just wanting a straightforward birth is not enough. We're armed and ready to fight this time. We've usually read too much, analyzed the past too much, and are scared. We know that in many places we might have to fight just to have the right to "try" for a VBAC, let alone one with less medical intervention. So we go in fists up. That's where I was a couple of months ago. That's the place I'm coming from.
But you know what, I'm not fighting anymore. I'm actually starting to enjoy this pregnant thing. I lay in bed just feeling kicks and wondering what it will feel like to have this baby in my arms, wondering what life will look like in a couple of months, trying to guess if this is an arm or leg, and how could someone so small and helpless kick so hard. Reveling in it all like a first - timer. It's a far cry from worrying about uterine rupture or trying to convince everyone around me that the hospital isn't necessarily the best place for this birth. It's peaceful. And all I've ever wanted in life was to feel peaceful. That's the truth.
No, life is not all puppies and roses. I just have perspective now.
I've been up since 5:30am, my back hurts like the dickens (I'm being polite), I'm worried about getting things done before Christmas and before the baby comes (nevermind very necessary bathroom renos), I still have to decide what to do about the heplock request, the dishes aren't done, and the fish tank needs to be cleaned. Again. There, I just had to say it all to get it out of my head. Maybe now I can go back to sleep for half an hour before the alarm goes off.
And, as no small sidenote, I think my loving husband has gone through the same sort of transition. Though he wouldn't probably tell the world about it like me. ( ; > Love you, honey!)
I just know he's in a more positive frame of mind about it all. We did an exercise in our prenatal class where the instructor pretended to be a nurse and was presenting us with intervention options. I was nervous as hell. It was such an uncomfortable place to be in because we've been there. I was shifty-eyed and feeling trapped. Hubby was confident and had this great "bring it on" attitude. Man I love that guy. He is my match in every way possible. If I get through this at all it will be in large part due to him.
I'm finally feeling like we're ready to have this baby. Well, almost!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
A citrine leaf
A citrine leaf found it's way to me today. A leaf symbolizing adding another branch to the family tree. Citrine for warmth, confidence, will power and inner calm.
And i realize that these birth beads are not just for birth, that I will treasure them and the warm thoughts that come with them forever. This is bigger than this birth. And I wish that everyone had the chance to gather those special people around them and receive blessings. It's a powerful thing to be given. And I only have one so far. I'll be a blubbery mess on the weekend when the rest show up. Hopefully I'll manage to not completely fall to pieces, embarrassing everybody.
Perhaps it was the midwife's comment that started the train of thought. She was talking about my homework for the month - some reading on woman's power. And she said - with a sly little smile - "This isn't just about birth, you know that, right?". Wow, what a powerful thing is this journey.
And i realize that these birth beads are not just for birth, that I will treasure them and the warm thoughts that come with them forever. This is bigger than this birth. And I wish that everyone had the chance to gather those special people around them and receive blessings. It's a powerful thing to be given. And I only have one so far. I'll be a blubbery mess on the weekend when the rest show up. Hopefully I'll manage to not completely fall to pieces, embarrassing everybody.
Perhaps it was the midwife's comment that started the train of thought. She was talking about my homework for the month - some reading on woman's power. And she said - with a sly little smile - "This isn't just about birth, you know that, right?". Wow, what a powerful thing is this journey.
Monday, November 5, 2007
"go outside when no one else wants to"
This morning was a comedy! All you can do is laugh, when it gets this bad. It snowed for the first time this year yesterday, and was nice and chilly when we left for work at 6am.
I finally bought new winter boots yesterday - they're not the trendy yet functional fashion accessories that I was looking for, but they're good to -40, and had a slogan something like "go outside when no one else wants to", so I settled. Not that I necessarily want to go outside when everyone else has the good sense to stay put. The boots are more practical than my Keens, and I didn't have to buy the matching mini-van.
My down coat doesn't fit anymore, so I've been dreading the real cold this winter. A friend loaned me a lined rain coat, and I borrowed Dearly Beloved's fleece jacket to go under it.
And then, like the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, I became ballooned into something horrifically comic and ridiculously dangerous. I was a sight for sore eyes as I trudged out of the igloo and hopped onto the dogsled this morning.
From inside my windproof cocoon I watched the "normals" around me with leather jackets and running shoes, sucking on cigarettes to keep warm. I wished, once-again, to be one of them (minus the cigarettes - yuk!).
I finally bought new winter boots yesterday - they're not the trendy yet functional fashion accessories that I was looking for, but they're good to -40, and had a slogan something like "go outside when no one else wants to", so I settled. Not that I necessarily want to go outside when everyone else has the good sense to stay put. The boots are more practical than my Keens, and I didn't have to buy the matching mini-van.
My down coat doesn't fit anymore, so I've been dreading the real cold this winter. A friend loaned me a lined rain coat, and I borrowed Dearly Beloved's fleece jacket to go under it.
And then, like the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, I became ballooned into something horrifically comic and ridiculously dangerous. I was a sight for sore eyes as I trudged out of the igloo and hopped onto the dogsled this morning.
From inside my windproof cocoon I watched the "normals" around me with leather jackets and running shoes, sucking on cigarettes to keep warm. I wished, once-again, to be one of them (minus the cigarettes - yuk!).
Monday, October 29, 2007
Prenatal Classes - Take Two!
Yay, Fantastic news! We're officially registered for Bradley prenatal classes!! After the last disastrous midwife appointment (I finally convinced my husband) we decided to give it a go. I'm pretty excited, as you can probably tell. I realized at that appointment that I really need it, not just dear hubby. I've lost my confidence and desperately need to get it back. I think being in a positive atmosphere talking about birth in a positive way will help, and, I can't lie, I'm looking forward to a room full of big bellies like mine. The midwife highly recommended it, and the instructor, and that's what convinced dear hubby. I think.
Here's what I was forwarded when I asked what would be covered. it's a 2-day "meat and potatoes" class, so there's a lot left out, but we took really good classes last time, so I think this will be just right.
Here's what I was forwarded when I asked what would be covered. it's a 2-day "meat and potatoes" class, so there's a lot left out, but we took really good classes last time, so I think this will be just right.
A general overview would be..... staying low risk and
healthy, basic nutrition, pregnancy exercises to prepare your birthing mucslces,
abdominal breathing, rlelaxation techniques for pain
management, understanding and practicing contractions,
coaching support strategies, mom's labour, checklist, dad's
labour checklist, introduction to first stage labour, transition, second
stage pushing, third stage (placenta), advanced first and second stage
positions, labour rehearsal, Bradley Energy Saving techniques, reviewing of all
the critical details, some videos and lots of extras depending on the questions
and time available.
I don't spend time on develping birth plans,
teaching you how to work with your birth team to overcome obstacles, discussing
breastfeeding or post partum issues as there is simply not enough time.
The Modified program is simply the meat and potatoes to get you by (and it will
get you by). The great news is that your midwives will take care of
all/any newborn or post partum issues. If couples want me to review
their birth plan or talk with me about breastfeeding or post birth concerns, I'm
only a phone call (or e-mail message) away.
Hope this
helps,
uterine rupture with VBAC
I've been doing a lot of uterine rupture research these days. I'll post on it sometime. Here's some food for thought posted on Sage Femme's blog.
uterine rupture with VBAC
This was sent to me recently by someone online. I remember reading this somewhere a couple years ago (maybe more?) but I cannot find who wrote it. Anyone?
Ruptures are also more common than dying in a plane crash. Henci Goer's review of the literature on VBACs found 46 ruptures in 15,154 labors. This equates to a 0.3% rate... or 1 in 333, if you prefer.
Your annual risk of dying in a plane crash is 1 in 4000, according to one source, and 1 in 700,000 according to another. I can't explain the massive discrepancy between the two figures, except to quote Mark Twain about "lies, damn lies, and statistics."
Since you asked, here are some more probability statistics for you:
Your risk of dying in a car accident, over the course of your lifetime, is between 1 in 42 and 1 in 75. This is roughly 4 to 5 times greater than the risk of uterine rupture.
You're about twice as likely to have your car stolen (that's an annual risk) than to experience a uterine rupture.
Your odds of being murdered are 1 in 140 over the course of your lifetime. That's 2 times more likely than the risk of rupture.
The annual risk of having a heart attack is 1 in 160, 2 times more likely than rupture.
Your risk of dying from heart disease is roughly 1 in 6, or 55 times greater than your risk of rupture.
If you're a smoker, your risk of dying from lung cancer is 1 and a half times more likely than a VBAC mom rupturing during her labor.
You're about 17 times more likely to contract an STD this year than you are to have a uterine rupture; more likely to contract gonorrhea than to rupture, as well.
You're 13 times more likely to get food poisoning than to rupture.
You're more likely to have twins than a uterine rupture. Odds of twins: 1 in 90. That's about 3 1/2 times the likelihood of rupture.
If you ride horseback, you're 3 times more likely to die in a riding accident than you are to experience a uterine rupture.
If you ride a bike on the street, you are 4 times more likely to die in an accident (annual risk) than you are to suffer a rupture.
Having a serious fire in your home during the next year is twice as likely as experiencing a rupture.
You're ten times as likely to win at roulette as you are to have a uterine rupture.
If you flip a coin, you'll be more likely to get heads (or tails) 8 times in a row than to rupture.
The risk of cord prolapse is 1 in 37 (2.7%), or nearly ten times more likely than that of rupture.
And a final irony (heads up, those of you who want a doc to give his/her opinion on your likelihood of rupture next pregnancy!)...You're 6 times more likely to have a doctor who is an impostor than you are to suffer a rupture. Two percent of docs are phonies (1 in 50), according to several sources I found.
So instead of worrying about rupture, why not take a few minutes to check up on your doctor's credentials? ;) It'd be a more profitable use of your time, and a substantially more likely cause for alarm.
uterine rupture with VBAC
This was sent to me recently by someone online. I remember reading this somewhere a couple years ago (maybe more?) but I cannot find who wrote it. Anyone?
Ruptures are also more common than dying in a plane crash. Henci Goer's review of the literature on VBACs found 46 ruptures in 15,154 labors. This equates to a 0.3% rate... or 1 in 333, if you prefer.
Your annual risk of dying in a plane crash is 1 in 4000, according to one source, and 1 in 700,000 according to another. I can't explain the massive discrepancy between the two figures, except to quote Mark Twain about "lies, damn lies, and statistics."
Since you asked, here are some more probability statistics for you:
Your risk of dying in a car accident, over the course of your lifetime, is between 1 in 42 and 1 in 75. This is roughly 4 to 5 times greater than the risk of uterine rupture.
You're about twice as likely to have your car stolen (that's an annual risk) than to experience a uterine rupture.
Your odds of being murdered are 1 in 140 over the course of your lifetime. That's 2 times more likely than the risk of rupture.
The annual risk of having a heart attack is 1 in 160, 2 times more likely than rupture.
Your risk of dying from heart disease is roughly 1 in 6, or 55 times greater than your risk of rupture.
If you're a smoker, your risk of dying from lung cancer is 1 and a half times more likely than a VBAC mom rupturing during her labor.
You're about 17 times more likely to contract an STD this year than you are to have a uterine rupture; more likely to contract gonorrhea than to rupture, as well.
You're 13 times more likely to get food poisoning than to rupture.
You're more likely to have twins than a uterine rupture. Odds of twins: 1 in 90. That's about 3 1/2 times the likelihood of rupture.
If you ride horseback, you're 3 times more likely to die in a riding accident than you are to experience a uterine rupture.
If you ride a bike on the street, you are 4 times more likely to die in an accident (annual risk) than you are to suffer a rupture.
Having a serious fire in your home during the next year is twice as likely as experiencing a rupture.
You're ten times as likely to win at roulette as you are to have a uterine rupture.
If you flip a coin, you'll be more likely to get heads (or tails) 8 times in a row than to rupture.
The risk of cord prolapse is 1 in 37 (2.7%), or nearly ten times more likely than that of rupture.
And a final irony (heads up, those of you who want a doc to give his/her opinion on your likelihood of rupture next pregnancy!)...You're 6 times more likely to have a doctor who is an impostor than you are to suffer a rupture. Two percent of docs are phonies (1 in 50), according to several sources I found.
So instead of worrying about rupture, why not take a few minutes to check up on your doctor's credentials? ;) It'd be a more profitable use of your time, and a substantially more likely cause for alarm.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
first the good news....
I really warmed my heart when my midwife explained to my squeamish husband that he wouldn't have to catch the baby, that I would do it. Yes, that is how the world is supposed to work. She even said something like "that's just the way it happens" and made a motion like bringing baby up to her chest.
She also was able to tell that the baby is currently HEAD DOWN!! You have no idea how relieving that news is. Of course, it's still so early (26 weeks), and I can feel baby moving around everywhere, but it was a good sign. This baby is so different from Little A. She never flipped around the way this one does. She was bum down from the beginning and stayed that way to the end. This one's not a thinker like A.. He's a doer. We're scared.
We also confirmed that baby has grown quite a bit in the last month. The baby bump is growing to large pumpkin size, which makes dear hubby ask how much bigger it will get. Stick around a couple of months!! You'll see. Yoga is getting pretty silly. I'm doing my own thing for over half of the class because my body just doesn't pretzel like it used to. Not that it used to pretzel, really, but I could at least fake it!
I'll post the bad news tomorrow.
ok, so it's not really 'news', so don't stay up all night worrying.
g.
She also was able to tell that the baby is currently HEAD DOWN!! You have no idea how relieving that news is. Of course, it's still so early (26 weeks), and I can feel baby moving around everywhere, but it was a good sign. This baby is so different from Little A. She never flipped around the way this one does. She was bum down from the beginning and stayed that way to the end. This one's not a thinker like A.. He's a doer. We're scared.
We also confirmed that baby has grown quite a bit in the last month. The baby bump is growing to large pumpkin size, which makes dear hubby ask how much bigger it will get. Stick around a couple of months!! You'll see. Yoga is getting pretty silly. I'm doing my own thing for over half of the class because my body just doesn't pretzel like it used to. Not that it used to pretzel, really, but I could at least fake it!
I'll post the bad news tomorrow.
ok, so it's not really 'news', so don't stay up all night worrying.
g.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Officially Disabled
As of today I am officially disabled.
Well, according to the fire wardens in my office building, at least. Of course, I think I am perfectly capable of walking down 21 floors of stairs, but I got in trouble yesterday. I guess they thought I SHOULD be on the list even though I wasn't and spent a lot of time looking around for me as I merrily trudged down the stairs with everyone else in the building.
Really I'd rather be walking than standing around letting my feet swell and back get sore in a freight hallway wondering if I'd really be safer getting out of the building quickly than standing around up here.
But it's more than that. I'm pregnant, not disabled! It's the same reason I'm not planning on going to the hospital for the birth - I'm not sick! I'm healthy and strong and capable. And, believe me, I'm not feeling at all delicate! If the building really is on fire, I think I can still get out just fine! Save the elevator for people who really need it - people in wheelchairs, with asthma, or bad backs.
Well, according to the fire wardens in my office building, at least. Of course, I think I am perfectly capable of walking down 21 floors of stairs, but I got in trouble yesterday. I guess they thought I SHOULD be on the list even though I wasn't and spent a lot of time looking around for me as I merrily trudged down the stairs with everyone else in the building.
Really I'd rather be walking than standing around letting my feet swell and back get sore in a freight hallway wondering if I'd really be safer getting out of the building quickly than standing around up here.
But it's more than that. I'm pregnant, not disabled! It's the same reason I'm not planning on going to the hospital for the birth - I'm not sick! I'm healthy and strong and capable. And, believe me, I'm not feeling at all delicate! If the building really is on fire, I think I can still get out just fine! Save the elevator for people who really need it - people in wheelchairs, with asthma, or bad backs.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
You just need a good doctor...
My mom is always trying to convince me to convert over to her doctor. She just loves him. He takes good care of her. I am thankful for that.
So she told me, not long ago, that her doctor's office had openings again. And really, midwives are expensive, all I need is to find a really good doctor.
I can't remember how I responded. Somehow just shrugged it off and moved on. She doesn't get it yet. I couldn't think how to start explaining the difference between the medical model and the midwiffery model of care.
Mom, do you remember the reams of doctors I went to as a kid and they tried this medicine and that medicine, and nothing really helped; I just got better on my own. Then when I was a teenager plagued with headaches. The first medicine made me an insomniac so I had headaches from lack of sleep. When i talked to the doctor about it he said he'd proscribe something different. We had a good chat about how I wanted to know what was wrong (treat the problem instead of the symptoms) and he wasn't interested in that. And mom, that WAS your doctor that you love so much to this day. And the headaches went away on their own. Because, by then, I'd had enough of doctors. And the asthma - that went away on it's own, too.
Of course, when I was pregnant with little a., well, of course you need a doctor for that! And look how much good that did me. Unnecessary surgical removal. I know that's a harsh way to say it, but it gets at the truth of what happened.
So, do you think I'm going to the doctor with this pregnancy??!? I'm not sick!! A doctor will look at me as someone with a condition to be managed. A midwife sees a person going through a stage of life.
Oh, ya, and for anyone still thinking about talking me into going to the hospital for the birth-
Ummmm, I'll let ya know when I'm sick, then you can cart me in on a stretcher.
So she told me, not long ago, that her doctor's office had openings again. And really, midwives are expensive, all I need is to find a really good doctor.
I can't remember how I responded. Somehow just shrugged it off and moved on. She doesn't get it yet. I couldn't think how to start explaining the difference between the medical model and the midwiffery model of care.
Mom, do you remember the reams of doctors I went to as a kid and they tried this medicine and that medicine, and nothing really helped; I just got better on my own. Then when I was a teenager plagued with headaches. The first medicine made me an insomniac so I had headaches from lack of sleep. When i talked to the doctor about it he said he'd proscribe something different. We had a good chat about how I wanted to know what was wrong (treat the problem instead of the symptoms) and he wasn't interested in that. And mom, that WAS your doctor that you love so much to this day. And the headaches went away on their own. Because, by then, I'd had enough of doctors. And the asthma - that went away on it's own, too.
Of course, when I was pregnant with little a., well, of course you need a doctor for that! And look how much good that did me. Unnecessary surgical removal. I know that's a harsh way to say it, but it gets at the truth of what happened.
So, do you think I'm going to the doctor with this pregnancy??!? I'm not sick!! A doctor will look at me as someone with a condition to be managed. A midwife sees a person going through a stage of life.
Oh, ya, and for anyone still thinking about talking me into going to the hospital for the birth-
Ummmm, I'll let ya know when I'm sick, then you can cart me in on a stretcher.
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