Saturday, June 14, 2008

A whole long rant to say that a little show of respect every once in a while would go a long way.

It's 11:30 at night and this is exactly how I am feeling. Being the mom is very lonely sometimes, yet I crave to actually get time to myself.

The hubby and I had a discussion a couple of weeks ago that is still bugging me.
We've been married 10 years and I'm still trying to get my way and it's still not working. When will I learn to just give up and give in?
The issue is mealtimes and dishes. Well, that's just part of the issue, but it's where I'll start. Growing up, it was always the rule in my house that the person who cooked supper didn't have to do the dishes. And we always said thanks to whoever had cooked us the meal. Always. It's just polite. It's acknowledging that someone went through to work to cook your meal so they were exempt from doing the dishes.

No matter how hard I've tried I can't get this to stick in my house. I cook almost all the meals and then the dishes are still there in the morning. Sometimes we get busy and they don't get done for several days (I know, I know, the horror! The secret's out; I'm not Martha.). Then hubby grumbles and does them, we have a discussion about how wouldn't it be easier if they got done every night, and I am supposed to be eternally grateful that he does dishes once or twice a month.

This brings me to the conversation that's still bugging me. Apparently I am not doing enough around the house. Possibly true. OK, probably true. But I don't accept responsibility for everything that needs to be done around here. To which my husband says "But I did dishes last night". If he hadn't grumbled and sighed and said that wouldn't it be better if I just did them every night, implying that it really was my job, then I would maybe buy the argument. I did laundry the whole time he cleaned the kitchen. In fact I always do the laundry. And put both kids to bed. And cook all the meals, and grocery shop. And entertain and take care of 2 kids every weekday, weekend, evening and through the night. When I want to do something I think about how I am going to do this with kids along. It must be nice to be able to take off and get stuff done without having to first figure out what about the kids. To run into a store to grab an item and not have it take a half hour. To take off for an entire day without figuring out childcare first (take off for an entire day? now, that's a pipe dream.). It must be nice to read a book before bed every night, not worrying about having to take care of the children demanding attention. Of course, I say this all with rather a lot of sarcasm, but, you know, it would be nice, every once in a while, to be thanked instead of grumbled at for not having done enough.
Maybe I would start my own company, too, if I had spare time.

Now, DH is probably fuming by now, if he's even managed to read this far without his head exploding, and I must say he is a hard working guy who loves his family. Really, you're only getting my side of the story. I'm sure he'd tell you I'm lazy, sitting on my butt all day surfing the internet while he brings home the paycheck. I think I've addressed all that above. All I'm saying is that a little show of respect every once in a while would go a long way.

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