I'm Grumpy, Grumpy, Grumpy.
I'm in a foul mood today. Only 45 minutes late for work, I'm hiding out in my little closet of an office stewing. Soon I'll have to open the door and face the world. Put on a smiling face, and hope nobody notices the scowl beneath the surface.
It was a bad morning from the start - you were right, honey, I am grumpy in the morning when I don't get enough sleep. And then the alarm didn't go off, and it's just occurred to me that I haven't eaten any breakfast yet. It snowed last night and I had to dress up as the stay-puff marshmallow man again. I couldn't get my boots on because I can't reach my feet anymore. And, even though it was painfully obvious, the entire bus was oblivious to the hugely pregnant woman standing, belly at their head's height, scowling out the window. Yes, sometimes I get a seat. But only if the nice lady is there. Of course, traffic was pitifully bad and the 15 minute ride took double that. And then the coffee shop was closed.
My back hurts.
I'm tired.
And I'm just a little grumpy.
Stay Away.

I am thankful for:
Heated seats. And we didn't get killed on the truck ride in. I guess new tires were a good investment.
A. was not bawling when I dropped her off this am. Not at that moment anyway.
Only 4 days of work left before mat leave. but who's counting.

That's MY story, and I'm sticking to it.

What is it with people asking how you're doing?
I don't really want to say.
I've been in a really weird headspace lately, and haven't quite figured out how I'm doing exactly.
I don't really want to talk about it, either.
But people keep asking, so I have to come up with something - usually I just distract them with a funny anecdote, and go from there.

Today's distracting anecdote:

It's roughly midnight and Dearly Beloved and I are nestled snugly in bed, as visions of sugarplums dance in our heads, when suddenly he wakes me up with a start, yelling "Get on the Floor!". So I dive over him, onto the floor. Something with feet jumps through the window, onto my head, and out the bedroom door.
We were both freaked! Me because I thought we were being attacked by monsters, and him, no doubt, at being awakened by a delirious, hugely pregnant person launching herself wildly over him and onto the floor.
Ya, so, that's MY story, and I'm sticking to it.
Sorry to have woken you up, dear, and I didn't mean to steal your blanket as I took cover. I hope you got back to sleep afterwards, I know I didn't.

Drinking For Two.

Ever had one of those days you where think you should just go back to bed and retry tomorrow?? It was a mistake to get up this morning. I'm sure of it now.
It all started at 3am when little, adorable daughter came in to our bedroom.
I kicked my husband. twice. It's almost always me that gets up with her but he gets to sleep in today and I really needed my sleep so I asked him to put her back to bed. He rolled over and mumbled something and we had half a conversation about her being in our bedroom.
Then she crawled into bed between us. Or, I should say, mushed right up next to me. I had exactly one body width between her and the edge of the bed on which to perch my buoyant body.
Long story short, he "decided" to let her sleep in our bed for the rest of the night. I kept pushing her towards the middle of the bed and she kept pushing back. We're like that.
The moral of the story is that I should have just gotten up and put her back to bed to begin with. So much for asking for help. I didn't feel even a little bit guilty about running the noisy blender at 5:30 am when they were trying to sleep in. I'm tired of smiling today.

The rest of the morning has gone similarly. I missed the bus. My back hurts. I was still hungry even after breakfast. My head hurts. And I've got a lot to do at work today. I guess that's why I'm blogging...

But the guy at the coffee place today was a pure ray of sunshine. I surprised the guy making my grandesinglesoymocha by saying yes to the whipped cream. I was thinking maybe the whipped cream would be the thing to turn my day around - heck, give me sprinkles and syrup and make it a venti too, for that matter! I mumbled something about it being Monday. Then the Ray of Sunshine burst forth through the clouds and said "She's drinking for two". Ya! I AM drinking for two - so bring it on! Come on world, I dare ya! That's just the mood I'm in. Tired of smiling and not afraid to show it. Consider yourself warned.

What is Tired of Smiling about?

I smile through life.
Ask most of the people I know. I'm the cheery one. It's automatic and I can't help it. It's some sort of social conditioning, I suppose. I'm hiding so I don't have to be exposed.
I'm the one at the party who just stands in the corner smiling trying to look like they're having a good time.
That's me.
And I'm tired of it, so no more forced smiles here.
And it turns out I think I have a lot to say. All on different topics, mind you. Sorry, dear reader. I know you would probably prefer a topic of some sort, but I just can't do it.

I promise not to be so glumn (isn't that a fun spelling?) in the future, just had to set the stage. Ask my hubby (the King) or kiddo, and they'll tell you, there's an inner troll hiding out.

g.